After graduation in April, each of you will enter a different world. As you will discover, there will be a lot of excitement, happiness, rewards, frustrations and challenges along the way.
Just before my son’s graduation, he attended a retreat where he was asked to give an inspirational talk to his classmates. Here’s what he wanted to say which I saw in his blog. I’m posting it here with his permission.
Over the moon
Feb 22, 2007
I didn’t want to go to the retreat, I told Mrs Saulog, my clinical instructor. My reason mainly was that my classmates are going through a totally different phase right now, much different from what I am. How could they understand what I’m going through, I reasoned.
I remember when I was driving on my way to my French class one rainy afternoon. I was 25 years old and suddenly, without warning, quarterlife crisis hit me. It hit me with such a great impact that I stopped attending my classes at Alliance Francaise because I felt that everything that I was doing should be for the attainment of a greater goal. Should be, because it seems that although I had accomplished a lot by that age, I didn’t have focus. Instead of moving up vertically career-wise, I was full speed horizontally. And so she said that maybe I do need to go to that retreat because I had a lot to share to my classmates who really haven’t seen the real world, who all were idealistic, who all believed they were all ending up in the United States in the future, who all think that the struggle in school is the biggest struggle in life, who all believed that the only way to get what they want was to be independent but at the same time too afraid to live away from their parents and finally those who experienced “taking chances” only in their love life. But I failed. Half of the group went back to their rooms by the time it was my chance to share something and even I was half asleep already, tired from walking up and down a rugged terrain just to see a cemetery for nuns and priests.
A few days ago, I heard from my mom that my aunt in the States was criticizing my cousin’s delay in passing the NCLEX as well as other decisions she made in life. It reminded me of what I wanted to say back then at the retreat. I remember just saying believe in yourself and never got to explain.
I told my mom that my cousin shouldn’t let things like that affect her. Whatever other people tell you about you should not define you. You should not let other people set your limits. Do not believe others if they tell you about your capabilities. You should listen to yourself–discover your own limits, improve yourself and do not let other people fight your battles for you.
When I was in my early teens, I knew I was better off than most people financially back in the province because I didn’t come from a family whose parents bred like rabbits. Both my parents worked and on my fourth grade, we got rid of our maid and started living like an efficient nuclear American family. I knew a lot of people were envious but I had the common teen need of being accepted by my peers. Since I had everything, I had to compensate by doing poorly academically. And I remember being ugly–close to the point of feeling like having a genetic aberration especially because I was tall, fat, with big puffy cheeks, with clothes that didn’t fit, pimples all over the place, weird voice… I remember people being nasty to me telling me I was going to be fat forever, etcetera. The A group in my class didn’t want to include me in their get-togethers. When I was much younger, they didn’t want me joining their teams in whatever childhood games they used to play because I couldn’t run fast enough and some didn’t even want to talk to me and ignored me when I tried to talk to them. There was this classmate of mine who even had this need to whisper to me, “You’re so fat, you’ll never lose weight, you’re just a hopeless case.”
Now, if I believed in those people, maybe I’d still be where I was 10 years ago. So when people talk behind my back, that’s okay with me. Opinions are opinions. People talk shit about other people all the time. Even my close friend will not find me perfect so when they talk about my imperfections, I think that’s pretty understandable. I keep on telling this to my friends who get angry whenever they hear someone saying things about them. “It only matters if you believe it’s true.”
devcompage.wordpress.com 
One of my friends in the dormitory is now working on his thesis. I often see him working on his computer. I observe how busy he has been these past few weeks. I see his drive and eagerness to finish his thesis and to hit the deadline. His thesis serves as his passport to getting a job. We have to pass through the journey of difficulties, trials and test. This will strengthen us all for the difficult years ahead of us. We have to be better than we have ever been.
I asked him about his plans after he graduates. He told me that he has to find a good job. He has to help his family for the financial obligation for his younger sisters. His answer to my question brought me to a realization that students will have to work hard during college for the new and bigger responsibilities that await us after college.
I agree with Randy. The best thing to do when someone belittles you is to do your best to improve yourself and prove that person wrong. I used to be angry when I heard people say negative comments about myself but I got to realize that maybe this person has his own problems too. It is easier for people to criticize others than looking at their own inadequacies.
the world awaits for graduates this year. i only wish that this world will be kind to them, not to dissilusion them. i also wish that whatever good thing they learned in school, they bring it with them in the workforce. as i have been telling all my students, excelling academically is not the end of it all. u need to be a good person, with a good and pure heart to go out in to the world, and change it, no matter how small your contribution will be. change it, for the better. so that when u leave this world, it is better than that u have found. god bless.
as what ate sally said, the best thing to do when someone belittles you is to improve yourself and prove that person wrong. i agree with this. i can relate this to what i learned from our dc 121. “meanings are in people, not in words”. so, why react if you could take it as nothing?
i would even thank the person who belittles me for he gives me hint to do better and make out the best.
Just recently my friend who graduated in VSU texted me that he felt so bad when he was told by his aunt to work as janitor. For several months he looked for a job in Cebu. He felt so inferior because of the discrimination he experienced while applying for a certain job. He told me that “it’s really hard to be ugly.” I told him some words of encouragement. Just as he was about to attend the training in Cebu Global call center his aunt did not allow him to go and said that it would be better for him to apply as janitor. My sympathy goes along with him. “I told him you’re a Devcom graduate for God’s sake, you should use your profession.”Before we ended our texting session, he told me, “You know Mark, you are right. After all those sleepless nights, and sacrifices just to earn my diploma I will not allow myself to work as janitor.”
In my part, students who graduated from their course should not be treated that way. I salute those who are able to graduate and overcome the hardships and challenges of a college life. They deserve to be blessed. I’m sharing this to everyone so that they will learn to value the things that they have acquired and the fruit of their labor.
I felt so sorry for myself every time I heard the word graduation, because I could have graduated already if I did not stop. But still life goes on, and I’m thankful that I gained back the inspiration and the motivation for me to continue my studies. Meantime for those graduating students I wish you all the best in life and good luck to your endeavors in the real world. May you will consider your experiences in college as your inspiration and a steping stone in becoming a successful individual someday.
as a graduate of any baccalaureate degree, one should not stop in the mirror and stare for the longest period of time. go on and give yourself a headstart, you earned it and nobody could take that away from you!
in my early stint in the academe, i was able to attend a seminar on the communicative approach of teaching grammar to college students in UP Diliman, during an ice breaker our trainor asked me “what do you hate most?” i shrugged and said “i hate being asked ‘can you do that?’ isn’t it bellitling when you’re asked the same?” i told the group of my contentions to somebody who has the guts to ask people such a very unintellectual question. everybody should be given the benefit of the doubt and the chance to prove their existence. i’d rather prove them wrong and get straight to their face and tell them “hey, i have what it takes to be a pro!”
maybe later, people will stop asking such mean question but instead, “hey, how the hell did you do that!!!”
isn’t it amazing! Kudos to you all, new graduates! though, looking for a job is tougher than graduating from college, at least you’re bringing with you the pride your parents have all been waiting to bestow upon you. Good luck!!!
Today is graduation day in our university. Yesterday, our department gave a tribute to our graduating students. The parents were there too. In the program, each graduating student gave a short spiel about their memorable student experiences, why they took up devcom, and their perceptions of their “terror” professors. They also thanked their parents and the staff profusely. Some cried.
I would like to announce that my once “unmotivated” student whom I wrote about in “How do you deal with student apathy” is going to graduate. Yehey! I am so professionally fulfilled that my motivational efforts paid off.
In the department, our entire February-March was spent marking thesis manuscripts, redoing statistical analysis, advising students, etc.
I have put closure to this batch of devcom students and deleted my folder, labeled, “Thesis students” which contained my advisees’ thesis data and manuscripts. After deleting the folder, I felt so relieved that another batch of students will hopefully join the workforce and move on. We have done our job.
During the tribute to the devcom graduates last Thursday, I was asked to speak about a few of my experiences as devcom grad joining the workforce.
When I went back to my seat, I realized I failed to mention this one thing that I think was equally important– to say something about the professors who were labeled “terror.”
I’ve sat in their classes and I’ve seen their unique ways of getting their job done but “terror” is just the wrong adjective for them.
In total fairness, all the DDC staff, with all their varying styles and methods, deserve a standing ovation for the great job they do every year.
Jojo, you did say something important about terror professors in your talk. You gave 4 essential points for Devcom graduating students to keep in mind. The first point was: On your first day on the job, you will be most grateful to the teacher who scared you or your terror teacher because you will realize that it was in his/her class where you learned the skills that got you the job. Or words to that effect. It was good that you said that because many of the graduating students had to mention that they had been scared of me even before they got to my class. I cast a smile in your direction.
“Terror” teachers, i would say, are not the very persona you face in front of the class, but it is the impression you framed at the back of your mind when you get into their class empty handed and have the fear of being ridiculed at the end of the class.
so sorry so sad, only devcom students had the privilige of being handled by the most “terror” mam moni escalada. HUH! if only they knew that when you get out of mam moni’s class, you will be filled with the vital info re the things one should learn from the course and immense pride being nurtured by one of the best (“terror”) professors!
in behalf of the powerbatch, i salute mam moni!
she is really the ONE!
Aiko, this is indeed funny. Well, some teachers suffer from an image problem. In my case, students have typecast me in that “terror” mold. If you were a UP Diliman student, your indicators of a terror teacher would be entirely different. I had a real terror teacher in UP Mass Com who flunked half the class including two nuns and a priest, who refused to accept class requirements submitted an hour late, and whose class requirements were equivalent to 18 units of course load. At that time she had a Master’s degree in Communication from Stanford University. She was bright, wealthy and pretty and didn’t care if students labeled her as a terror. But it was from her class where we learned a lot. After graduation when I worked in UP Mass Com, she became my colleague and I got to know her better. A couple of years later I did a broadcast research internship at the Corporation for Public Broadcasting in Washington, D.C. and we were reunited as her husband had joined the International Finance Corporation, a member of the World Bank group. I would spend my weekends at their Bethesda home and the county clubs where they were members. Up until today, I have fond memories of my “terror” teacher and her class assignments more than 30 years ago are still relevant today.
As Jojo Agot said, students just have to go past that perception to be able to get the most out of that teacher.